Popcorn

Day 23
Today my mom-in-law taught me to how to make popcorn with a pan on the stove. It was so much better than what the microwave has to offer.

Janet

Incomplete

Day 22

Before reading this post I would like you to listen to this song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9e3k-fpnOE. Alanis Morrisette's, Incomplete, was the inspiration for the URL of this blog. My favorite lyric is this-
"I have been running so sweaty my whole life, urgent for a finish line. And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete."
I decided a while ago that I would forget these invisible finish lines we all have hovering over us. These ridiculous promises we make to ourselves. It's just so sad that as humans we feel the need to "do this before that" and "get this done by that time". How often do we say to ourselves,"One day I'll do this...", or "I'm going to be like this someday...", or "If I could just do this, I'd be able to..." I can't tell you how many potentially pleasant moments in my life were spoiled by these self appointed, completely unrealistic expectations. I wonder how much of my life has been spent focusing on what needs to happen in the future. How much time did I lose as I was compulsively making these mental pledges? Why didn't I just take a breath and bask in the splendor of the present? Why couldn't I just accept the moment for what it was and let evolution take care of the future and what it holds? Here's the thing...there are no finish lines. Personally I don't even consider death a finish line because there is always something of you that continues to live. I bet if we stepped back and enjoyed the "rapture of being forever incomplete" we'd be less apt to care about what others are better at. I can guarantee we'd be more productive, and we'd be secure in the lives we are personally living and be friends with our goals, instead of slaves to them.




Janet

Shortcuts

Day 21

Today I learned that it really is pointless to take shortcuts. As I was leaving the grocery store I was so frustrated by my lateness that I decided to avoid the mile long turn line and went the other direction. That one decision catapulted me into a series of frustrating events even more frustrating than my lateness was in the first place. Oh-and and my little detour cost me 30 more minutes of my evening because of unforeseen construction. So this got me thinking about other short cuts I've tried to pull off in my lifetime-and how horribly they've backfired. Even more-I was reminded of how worth it is sometimes to avoid the path of least resistance...

• Weight loss-one of the most upsetting topics by almost every woman I've ever met. I'm sure most of you know, and if you don't-well, you do now... I battled an eating disorder for almost 15 years. I was hospitalized for several months in Denver for Anorexia weighing 76 pounds and 5 years later jumped up to 230 pounds (my gosh, I can't believe I'm even talking about this). I was just never right with food, my body, my health and always desperately searching for a quick ticket out of this stupid maze I was lost in. I remember being awakened in the middle of the night several years back by extreme pain in my chest. I just lay there with my hand over my aching, weakened heart silently begging it to give me another chance. Suddenly my world, and the darkness I had been living in was floodlit and I soberly understood that my decision to survive needed to be immediate and irreversible. With much help and support from my loved ones and doctors I began to take my time to say goodbye to every pound permanently. I had to work my butt off! This time I couldn't take a shortcut. Every pound that dropped was accompanied by the proverbial and literal blood, sweat, and tears. It took me 3 years to lose over 100 pounds but I have kept it off for just as long (excluding the ups and downs of 2 pregnancies) and I'm convinced it's because I took my sweet time. Do I ever have relapses? You bet. There are more days than I'd like to admit that I skip eating all together. But thankfully God gave me a heart that warns me, and two beautiful children that snap me right back out of my own stupidity.
• Another thing worth waiting for was the relationship with my husband. I had to wait a long time for Trenton. Before we were married we had known each other for 7 years and the timing just kept failing us. Before Trenton, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to offer the amount of love necessary to keep a relationship afloat. In my short lifetime I had my heart broken several times-once by someone that still doesn't even know I had feelings for him (tragic)! Anyway-our relationship turned out to be the poster child for patience...for not taking shortcuts. We waited 6 years to kiss, a year to become engaged, and 10 more months to be married. Have we been rewarded for our fortitude? More than either of us could have imagined.
• It only seems natural to mention this next. The process of creating a child is one of those shortcuts that is impossible to take. I happen to be one of the most annoying driven-by-instant-gratification type of people. I can't even wait to get outside of the grocery store before I'm ripping open my pack of gum. Pregnancy is one of those fascinating processes that it not easy to describe, even when you've been through it...especially if you've been through it. And of all the beautiful and magical aspects of the whole development-I would have to say that my most memorable part was how freaking long it took to grow that baby! That being said, when those babes are rested on your stomach for the first time- you realize the importance of all the discomfort and pain you just endured for 9 months. You understand that there is no shortcut on this earth, or any other planet, that you'd be willing to take the place of what you've just experienced.
• You know what else is worth it? Homemade cream sauces, and candy, and pasta. Sure-we can, and usually do take the shortcut and just use what's in the pantry. But you have to admit the beauty of taking raw materials and using them to create something beyond incredible.

Janet

For Us Tall Laides...

who don't want to dress like harlots...

Day 20

Today I learned about the "Mod Bod" clothing line. Check it out! http://themodbod.com.
Janet

Baby Wipes

Day 19

Today I learned that baby wipes are truly the best household staple in the world. I've always known they are great poo removers from baby bottoms, and that they can obliterate even the worst spaghetti stains off of little cheeks. I even knew that they take pen and marker stains out of furniture. But did you know that baby wipes can clean anything? This is my challenge to you-the next time you set out to clean your house, arm yourself exclusively with a box of baby wipes and watch what happens. It kind of makes me wonder-what is this that I'm using on my babies' skin?

Janet

History

Day 18

Today I learned all about Henry VIII of England. I had briefly studied him before in high school world history-but that piece of crap is really interesting to read about!

Janet

Brave

Day 17

I learned today that my desire to be a healthy person far outweighs my fears. I learned that I can be brave when I really need to be.

Janet

Watch What You Say

Day 16

Today I was informed that the walls of our house are so paper thin that someone standing outside can hear what we're saying on the inside. We've lived here for almost 4 years. Yikes!

Janet

Freak Show

Day 15

Today I learned that when it's just me with the two kids and all the baggage that comes with them-I look like a sideshow. Maybe it seems ridiculous that it never occurred to me before-that just the sight of me was funny. It wasn't until today that I noticed people laughing at me while I was desperately trying to avoid dropping one of my children. I had Emma hanging upside down in one arm-carrying a bag, Ben in his 300 lbs car seat in the other arm, the diaper bag, my purse, and some paperwork in my mouth. Literally everything on my body that could grasp...was. I could have been upset at those people laughing at me-but the truth is, I did look like a hot mess.

I also learned that the Walgreen's in Fountain has Spanish conversation hearts. Te Amo!

Janet

Dancing

Day 14

Today I learned that I have, quite possibly, the most adorable little ballerina that ever did exist. Emma started taking ballet and tap classes today. What a darling little girl- I am so honored to be her mommy.

Janet

Family

Day 13

Everyone knows that family is a blessing and a curse. Today I learned one more reason why they truly are a blessing. I had to pick up my sister from work today and take her to the emergency room. While we were waiting there I was surrounded by people that would have seriously benefited from having more family around. The ER was so packed that they had sick patients sitting in the family waiting area with the rest of us. I was stunned by how many sick people were there alone. There were actually people that had to drive themselves to the hospital, check themselves in, fill out there own paperwork, tie the back of their own gowns, sit for hours on end, and then be treated with no one to hold their hands through the whole ordeal. There is something to be said for independence, and if this were just an optometry visit...fine...but this was a trip to the EMERGENCY ROOM! My heart also went out to this woman who was there with her sick toddler and her other two children, who were obviously fed up with having to sit for hours and had already burned through their share of patience. Today learned that I have always taken two things for granted 1. I wouldn't have to go to the ER by myself and 2. If I had to take one of my babies, I have an abundance of loving FAMILY that would help me out with the other. If you think those two points seems trivial-go spend a few hours in the Penrose Community ER waiting room and you'll quickly realize how blessed you are. One more thing-while I was there, two women were escorted to the back. They were both crying hysterically over, what I can only assume to be, a family member that was injured or very sick. While I am so sorry for what they're going through-I hope they realize how lucky they are...to have someone in their lives that they love enough to feel such emotion over.

Janet

"Turtle"

Day 12

Today we learned as a family that our cat "Turtle" is missing. When I asked Emma where she went- she told me that the kitty went to Shelby's potty. Shelby is our dog and her potty is outside. We are all sick about this-Turtle is an awesome cat and we've grown to love her! I went to the humane society yesterday with no luck and Trenton went door to door in our neighborhood. How frustrating that with cats all you can pretty much do is wait. I HATE

WAITING.

Janet

Positive

Day 11

Today I learned that my sister-in-law, Patti, is pregnant! WooHoo!!!!

Janet

"Stinky!"

Day 10

Today I learned that you should never leave a two year old alone while she's doing her number two. I think Emma summed it up perfectly when she simply said, "Mommy...my poopy is stinky."- which I'm already well aware of as I'm scrubbing it off the toilet seat, bathroom floor, tiles, etc.

Hey...I never did promise that these posts would be profound!

Janet

Yoga

Day 9

Today I learned yoga for the first time! It was more difficult than it looks and I felt better than I would have imagined after doing it!

Here I am messing around with the new positions I learned earlier in the day at our friends' house. Not quite sure what Trenton's position is called...but I like it!

Janet
P.S. This was written on the 17th. Internet wasn't working so I couldn't post until this morning.

Time Out

Day 8

Today I learned that my fears of being judged for putting my child in time-out in a public place were not worth the trouble. After Emma told Trenton and me to "Shut-up" as we were leaving Target, I felt that it needed to be dealt with right then- not the 3 minutes from the time of the offence that it would have taken us to get to the car. So I swallowed my pride and put her in time-out...right there in the entryway near the automatic sliding doors. The first person to walk past us surprised me when he said, "Stay strong mom! You can do it." The next person just smiled with an understanding look. And the third person said, "It's better to train 'em while they're young. You go mom!" What did I learn today? That being a good mom sometimes (often) requires me to embarrass myself-and I think I'm actually okay with that.

Janet

Haiti

Day 7
Sometimes it takes a natural disaster, or any disaster for that matter, to remind me of how much I truly have. I am both horrified by and addicted to CNN. The images of those suffering haunts me throughout the day and continues as nightmares while I sleep. But today I learned something I had never thought about. I spend a lot of time worrying about those that will follow me. I daydream about my children as adults, and who their babies will be . One of the reasons I am doing this blog is so that I can turn it into a hard copy and leave something for my great, great, great grandchildren to remember me by. But all the journals, photo albums, blogs, and scrapbooks I spend so much time keeping are tangible items that can be destroyed. The only thing that can't be destroyed by an earthquake, or flood, or fire, or any other disaster is the memory that my children, friends, and family will have. I do feel that keeping family history is incredibly important and by no means will I stop maintaining my photo albums and journals-but today I realized how much time I have wasted working on my material memories. Time that could have been spent making eternal memories that live in their minds. Memories that won't be left behind when they leave this world behind. You know that adage, "You can't take it with you?" Today I learned and came to understand its cautionary meaning.

On another note...having watched the news almost 24 hours a day for the last several days, I have noticed something. 2 year olds are incredibly resilient. The majority of the survivors that have been most recently recovered are toddlers. Makes me have a whole new appreciation for the untapped strength of my 2 year old.

I am so sorry for those affected by the Haiti earthquake. I am not, by any means, trying to minimize the terror and devastation of the situation by turning it into an egocentric opportunity to learn. Maybe it's a coping mechanism, to try and make sense out of something that seems so randomly destructive. May God be with you.

Janet

Relax!

Day 6
I never realized how much stress I have balled up in me, at what seems like, all times. It wasn't until today that I became aware of how much Emma is affected by my stress. Tonight when Trenton and I were talking about stuff in a "stressful" tone- Emma said, "Daddy, Mommy-RELAX!" My two year scolded me into relaxation! How could I look at her perfect little face and not melt like a marshmallow that has just been plopped in a steaming cup of hot cocoa? I learned today that if I want my babes to grow up cool and confident they can't be raised by a mother who is constantly emitting this nervous, anxious energy. My Dad has some good advice about stress when he says, "If you aren't a little nervous you aren't human. Nerves often help kick us into gear when something needs to get done. Nerves can make us productive. But don't let that turn into something destructive. Do like my flight instructor taught me. When you begin to feel uptight, start wiggling your toes. It's a difficult thing to do without focusing your attention on it-therefore, taking your attention off of whatever is stressing you out." Hopefully Emma and Ben will get the positive, energetic side of my anxiety driven personality and I'll continue taking my "wise-beyond-her-years" daughter's advice and relax a little.

This is a picture of my daughter at the doctor's office. Cool as a cucumber in what most would consider a stressful situation. Shining example of Zen.

Janet

Today...

Day 5

Today I learned that I've got my husband's back...and he's got mine. And as long as we've got each other, we'll be just fine.

"I Want to Pump My Glove"

Day 4

I learned today that when Emma wants me to test her blood sugar she'll bring me her moniter and say, "I want to pump Emma's Glove." "You want me to test Emma's blood?" I say, barely able to keep a straight face. "Yes Mommy! I want to pump Emma's glove!" How adorable!

I also learned that Ben can roll over...both ways! Adorable squared!

Janet

Sometimes There Is No Plan B.

Day 3

Okay- I was watching reruns of "Grey's Anatomy" and on this particular episode there was a patient that was complaining of severe abdominal pain. The Dr. came in with an X-Ray that showed some sort of foreign matter stuck in his intestine. Finally the patient admitted to eating his novel...literally. This man, a writer, was so upset by his mediocre work that he ate it to "put it behind him." As they were wheeling the man to surgery the Dr. suggested that the man quit writing and go with his "plan B" profession. The man said hopelessly, "I don't have a plan B!" It wasn't that he couldn't, or wouldn't be successful doing something else. It's that he was so passionate about writing that, in his mind, the option to take up another profession just didn't even exist. So, I learned today that I need to not be so flexible with my goals. I think 9 times out of 10 I don't meet my set goals because I'm counting on plan B to provide that soft safety net. But there are certain things in life that can not be backed up with a plan B and from now on I'm going to do a better job of making those things a priority.

Janet

My New Definition for Crazy

Has anyone else had someone they love hurt them so badly and then continue on with life like nothing happened? You have to wonder if it was the initial act or their denial to take any responsibility for that act that is hurting you more. Crazy is a big word in our house. We jokingly and lovingly use it often to describe many things that go on. But today I learned that I have a new definition for the word. (I would just like to clarify that I'm not referring to my husband in this post).

CRAZY- noun

A person that maintains the ability to be completely hurtful and reckless with other's feelings and then totally disassociate him/herself from the entire situation like it didn't just happen.

Think about it...how many sane people do you know that don't feel some sort of regret or pain after a fight? Anyone in their right mind understands that life is short and we may not be around tomorrow to apologize and make amends. Anyone that isn't CRAZY is too overwhelmed by guilt and that icky feeling that follows an argument that they would do anything to make it go away. I learned that those we most often think are mean or heartless are actually just CRAZY-and so for them I feel sorry.


Oh-and I learned how to caramelize onions for the first time today!

Janet

Cloth vs. Paper

Day 1- January 9, 2010

I was hoping I could kick off this blog with a more profound lesson learned, but the truth is...today has been a pretty easy going day. I was actually starting to worry that I wouldn't have anything to write about tonight...but then I had dinner with my sister's mother-in-law, Carol. Somehow we got on the subject of diapers, particularly cloth diapers, and how she had to use them when her children were babes. I've heard people mention how annoying they were before but had never truly listened as they described the foul inconvenience of having to not only empty the diapers but hand scrub and air-dry them day in and day out. Suddenly I was confronted with all the things I take for granted. Today I learned that no matter how difficult I thought the day was- no matter how many times Emma threw a tantrum, or how often I worried about money, the state of the economy or what is happening with the country's health care plan-I didn't have to scrub a muddy diaper and hang it to dry. All joking aside...today I learned that it could ALWAYS be worse, and I've got it pretty darn good!

Janet