Flexibility

Day 135 (Saturday, May 29th)

Today I learned that the more flexible you are, the happier you will be. (And I'm not talking about Yoga here.) Expectations seem to be the root of all evil.

Janet

Date Night

Day 134 (Friday, May 28th)

Somehow almost all of my siblings (without spouses) ended up in my Mom's living room after finishing each of our various day's work. We were all trying to decide what we wanted to for date night and each idea we had cost quite a bit of money. My mom overheard our conversation and finally jumped in with, "Hey guys...why don't you pack a picnic dinner, grab a blanket and go star gazing. It doesn't cost a thing." We all just laughed at her and I'm sure she was wondering how she could have raised such disrespectful, entitled kids. But as Trenton and I were driving around trying to decide how we wanted to spend our evening, I figured I'd give my Mom's idea a try. We grabbed a blanket and walked down a trail for a while until we reached this beautiful field that was nowhere near the star-blinding city lights. It was wonderful just sitting there in the stillness with no distractions. We ended the night at our favorite drive-in for ice-cream and I can honestly say, in my 5 years of marriage, this was one of my favorite date nights. Today I learned that when my Mom has a suggestion, it is based on 70 years of experience and love and I would be wise to listen to her more often instead of just rolling my eyes.

Janet

Glory of Love

Day 133

This was one of my all-time favorite songs...and I rediscovered it today. I actually listened to the words and are they ever true. Listen to it! (This is not the song by Peter Cetera.) It's on my playlist to the right.

Glory of Love
You've gotta give a little
Take a little
And let your poor heart
break a little
That's the story of
That's the glory of Love

You've gotta laugh a little
Cry a little
Until the clouds roll by a little
That's the story of
That's the glory of Love

As long as there's the two of us
We've got the world and all its charms
But when the world is through with us
We'll have each other's arms

Janet

"If music be the food of love, play on." -Shakespeare

Day 132 (Wednesday- May 26)

Tonight was my first rehearsal back with the Colorado Springs Chorale. Somehow, through the monotony of daily life, I had forgotten how much music is a part of me. But as I stood surrounded tonight, by this giant chorus of beautifully trained voices, my heart sang right along with my voice. This is where I belong. These are my people. I am home again.

Janet

What the Future Holds

Day 131 (Tuesday May, 25)

According the Scientific American, there are 12 events that will change everything for us. And it is highly realistic that we'll actually see these events unfold during our lifetime. What was once far-out material for science fiction is now our probable reality. Yikes!

1. Cloning of a human- The process is extremely difficult, but it also seems inevitable.
2. Extra dimensions-The world's biggest particle collider might uncover new slices of space.
3. Extraterrestrial intelligence-How will we respond to a signal from outer space?
4. Nuclear exchange-A local conflict could produce a global nightmare.
5. Creation of life- Synthetic biology remakes organisms, but can it bring inanimate matter to life?
6. Room-temperature superconductors-They would transform the grid-if they can exist at all.
7. Machine self-awareness- What happens when robots start calling the shots?
8. Polar meltdown- Move the beach chair back: rising seas will literally reshape the world.
9. Pacific Earthquake-Will the overdue Big Once tear California asunder?
10. Fusion energy- It would solve environmental headaches, but it remains hard to achieve.
11. Asteroid Collision- An extinction-level event is unlikely, but "airbursts" could flatten a city.
12. Deadly pandemic- Notwithstanding the tameness of H1N1, influenza viruses could still wipe out millions and wreak economic havoc.

Take heart though-the really important stuff, like unconditional love, will never be recreated in a lab, or destroyed by a pathogen. I hope.

For the entire article, check out Scientific American Magazine- June, 2010.

Janet

Day 130

I learned today that my little boy has bronchitis. His lips were blue this morning and his pulse-ox was low. Other than the steroid treatments, we're in the "wait-n-see" stage. I also learned that he weighs 19 pounds. He's 9 months. Emma is 25 pounds and is 2 years old!

Janet

Emma and Ben

129

Today I learned, even more than yesterday, how much I love my babies. I can't believe I'm lucky enough for them to be mine.

Janet

Day 128

I wouldn't share what I learned today even if I could. I had a very wonderful day and I'm choosing to keep it to myself, just this once... she says mysteriously.

Janet

Kung Fu

Day 127

Until today I had never actually sat down with Emma to watch Kung Fu Panda. This is such a sweet quote:

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."

I like this one too-

"There is no charge for awesomeness...or attractiveness."

Janet

Panic

Day 126
I am one of the most anxious people in this world. I absolutely HATE thrill-seeking activities because I already have so much adrenaline pumping through my veins on a regular basis. It's like jumping out of an airplane every single day. I am the poster child for panic attacks and I've been dealing with them for so long that I've mastered keeping my internal meltdowns under wraps. If I've spent any amount of time with you, I can pretty much guarantee I've had one in front of you. I've been through therapy, bio feedback, medication, and most recently, yoga. Thankfully I haven't allowed fear to intervene with the big things in my life. I went backpacking in Europe, earned my degree, got married, and gave birth to my babies. But I am sad to say that I have let my anxiety limit some of the happiness in my life. Writing this blog has done more than I anticipated when I started. Originally I was hoping to just document this ever-changing time in my life so that my kids would have a part of me to look back on and learn from. But this daily search for knowledge, for wisdom...for something to write about at the end of the day has become more of a limit pushing, wall busting, "know thy self" exercise in doing-it-in-spite-of-it-all. In the last 126 days I have grown to feel more like myself than I have in years. Each day I make a conscious decision to uncover the girl that was so excited about life.

I woke up this morning absolutely terrified because I had two things planned that would be difficult to get through. But I did them-and tonight, as I lay my head down, I am full of joy. Here is what I learned today-

• Work is the best medicine for worry. If you're scared, get up and do something that requires your mental and physical attention.


• Help someone that is more frightened than you are. Peace is a sweet side-effect of service.


• There are plenty of things that suck in this world. So many REAL things that can go wrong. People lose loved ones without warning. Others have to endure chronic pain or deal with circumstances that seem unbearable. So what business do I have getting stressed out all the time? Especially about things that are supposed to be positive. I decided today that if something is meant to be fun-I'm going to enjoy it...fully. There's enough time in this life to be sick, or worried. When something is wonderful, happiness and gratitude are the only emotions I'll allow myself to feel. And I am going to do my best to help everyone around me experience happiness too.

Think about a baby when he's happy. He isn't questioning his emotions or altering them based on circumstance. He's in the moment. He's the model of joy.

Janet

The Dentist

Day 125

My experience at the dentist was so traumatizing today that I actually caught myself considering other horrific things I'd rather be doing. This list explains the extent to which I loathe going to the dentist. Instead of going to the dentist I would rather...

• Use a Wal*Mart bathroom.
• Clean a Wal*Mart bathroom.
• Drive across the country and back.
• Listen to Ben and Emma cry simultaneously...for an hour straight.
• Have my blood drawn.
• Take a semester of Algebra.
• Give birth again.
• Have a colonoscopy.

Unfortunately, none of those options would allow me to keep my teeth-so I sucked it up and headed to the dentist. I feel like I am "sucking it up" a lot lately. I read somewhere that dentists have the highest suicide rate above any other profession. I mean, think about it...nobody looks forward to seeing you. It's sad too, because my dentist is such a nice man.

Janet

Day 124

"You know you're getting old when you stoop down to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could get done while you're down there."

-George Burns

Brian Regan

Day 123

Oh my gosh...this is so funny! Until today I hadn't heard this sketch by my favorite comedian. Go ahead and release some endorphins by having a laughing fit...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-JRQXYy9wk&feature=related. You're Welcome!

P.S. Check out some others on the side bar of this link. Especially "Phones and Codes" and "Dinner Party." Ahhhh...my cheeks hurt.

Janet

Birthday-Part 2

Day 122

As my mom and I were standing in line at the grocery store today I had an epiphany. She is the ONE person, above all others, I should be spending my birthday with. We were out, just the two of us, buying yummy treats for my party and I realized that it was just the two of us 27 years ago. This woman brought me into the world. I shared her body for 9 months. I'm not sure how I managed to make it through 27 years of life without really considering this, but I SHARED A BODY WITH THIS WOMAN! My bones, eyes, and heart were created by her. I owe everything to her. It is because of her that I am! So then I got to thinking, why don't we celebrate our Mothers on our birthdays? Aren't they the ones that did all the work? Aren't they the ones that GAVE BIRTH? Then I realized I haven't spent one birthday without my Mom. So in the midst of all the fun chaos tonight I made a promise to her that I will never celebrate my birthday without her-and that's the least I can do to honor what she's done for me.

Janet

Birthday

Day 121

I had such a fun birthday today. I am 27. I was born on a Friday...Friday the 13th, and I think my life has proven to exemplify that superstition. Just for fun I decided to find a few quotes about birthdays...

"No wise man ever wished to be younger."
Jonathan Swift

"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional."
Chili Davis

"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that those who have the most live the longest."
Larry Lornezoni

Look out 27...I'm coming for you...and I'm going to let you have it!


Janet

Learn Something New Today

Day 119

I LOVE this http://www.learnsomethingeveryday.co.uk/. I found it today and you will love it too.

Janet

War

Day 118

This made me cry-

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/

Janet

Mothers

Day 117 (Monday, May 10th)

This Mother's Day was a sweet one. Emma was unfortunately sick, which broke my heart, but nothing makes you feel more like a mother than caring for a sick child. I can't believe I am the mother of two children. My body has, by some miracle, created two perfect human beings. There isn't one thing in this entire world I would rather be doing right now. Mothering Ben and Emma has proven to be the most fulfilling, rewarding thing I have and ever will do. I have learned more in these 2 and 1/2 years than any other time in my life. Here is some of what I've learned so far-in no particular order...

• There is no limit to the joy I have felt as a mom.
• There is no limit to the worry and frustration I have felt as a mom.
• Childbirth is way more painful than people lead me to believe.
• The female body is truly amazing. It can literally grow another person, deliver it, and heal from the whole process pretty quickly. As if that weren't enough-it has the ability to do it over and over again!
• This isn't about me anymore. The world doesn't revolve around my needs and desires.
• I am a better Mom when I don't completely forget about my needs and desires.
• Puke isn't that big a deal.
• Poop isn't that big a deal.
• Snot isn't that big a deal.
• Should I keep going?
• Vinegar is my best friend. It makes yummy salad dressings, removes odors from everything, and demolishes fingerprints.
• Four words: Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
• It is completely pointless to cry over "spilled milk."
• Always have a change of clothes for the kids with me at all times.
• Always have water and some sort of food with me at all times.
• Exercise is so much more than getting in shape. It's a miracle stress buster.
• I am the immediate example of womanhood that my children have. Talk about pressure!
• How thankful I am for a washing machine.
• A change of scenery can work wonders for a fussy baby and grumpy toddler.
• How grateful I am to Kraft, for their perfect, never-failing Macaroni and Cheese.
• Band-aids can "heal" almost anything.
• To never hesitate when my gut is telling me to take them to the doctor.
• To never hesitate when my gut is telling me to take myself to the doctor. I have to take care of myself. I'm the only Mom they've got.
• How grateful I am for Trenton and that I don't have to do this by myself. I love him so much more each time I look at my children.
• They are watching me...always watching me.
• To not freak out about every little thing. Who cares?
• To LOVE LOVE LOVE. Above all else, I have learned to truly, completely, unconditionally LOVE.

Can't wait to see what I'm going to learn going forward!

Janet

Sick

Day 116

I have been dealing with a puking toddler, but it's been a wonderful Mother's day in spite of it all. I will get back when things settle down a bit. Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there.

Janet

Pilots and Princesses

Day 115 (Thursday- May 6)

Today I learned that my Emma wants to be a pilot and the captain of a ship. While most little girls fantasize about being princesses, mine daydreams about being a fighter pilot. I am proud that my little ladybug wants to be a solider, but I don't know if my heart could take it. I guess we'll see.

Janet

Tomato Tomahto

Day 114

As an experiment, I tried to approach everything I did today from a different perspective. I think we all make this subconscious, egocentric assumption that everyone else looks at things the same way as us, even though we obviously know that's not the case. Today I learned why we do that. It's exhausting to consider all the various opinions people might have about everything and act on them. We stick to what we know because it's practically painful to pull ourselves away from how we define the world. It was an exercise I'd encourage you to try though. I found myself much more patient, quiet, and surprisingly present.

Janet

Overweight Children

Day 113

I learned today that a bully's biggest motive is no longer race, gender, or ethnicity. Sadly, the target that trumps anything else is weight. If a child is overweight they become a prime candidate for school yard bullying. Read this! http://health.yahoo.com/news/healthday/bulliestargetobesekids.html
Janet

Day 112

I saw a book today that is titled, "Motherhood is NOT for Sissies." They took the words right out of my mouth.

Janet

Scared Mama

Yesterday my sweet little girl and I were walking in the school to see my nieces perform in a ballet. We had just shared a yummy lunch together and were enjoying the sunshine. But then one of the scariest things happened. She tripped and fell on her hands and knees, got up and cried a little, stopped crying and continued walking like nothing had happened. Then her little body got rigid, her face completely white, and she fainted-falling straight back, bashing her head on the pavement. I can still hear the screams that my sister and I let out as we watched it happen...I couldn't get to her fast enough. I rushed her to the ER with a mind full of worst case scenarios and that's where I learned about what I have inside of me. Emma has always been a beautifully healthy girl. She has managed to escape any lengthy or dangerous illnesses so I've never really been forced to witness her being handled by doctors. They had to tie her entire body down for the CT scan, bend and twist her for the Chest X-ray, and poked her a bunch of times for various tests and the IV. I have never heard her cry like that and anytime I close my eyes I can't get that sound out of my head. Thankfully all the tests came back normal and I will follow up tomorrow with her Doctor to figure out the source of her fainting. She isn't even showing signs of a concussion. We are so blessed. But this experience was extremely terrifying! The whole time I was just pouring sweat and nauseated...I wanted to do it all for her. So that gets me back to what I learned. Inside of me, despite all my feelings of inadequacy, there is a mommy. Up until now I have felt more like a mother-you know...the person that makes sure you're fed properly, that you take your vitamins and learn your ABC's. Yesterday, as Emma was screaming for me, I felt the type of broken heart only a mommy can feel. It's all over for me. I am hopelessly in love with my babies.

Janet