Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Creative Crazies

Day 96
I learned today that I really don't feel prepared or qualified to be a mom. I went through my day feeling completely inadequate at everything I tried to do. I'm anxious about the future and I can't seem to keep myself from stewing over all the things that have and could go wrong. I am hopelessly neurotic. This quote gives me comfort though-

"Everything great in the world comes from neurotics. They alone have founded our religions, and composed our masterpieces. Never will the world know all it owes to them, nor all that they have suffered to enrich us."
-Marcel Proust

I think this quote might be a little extreme, but I would like to think that I could put some of this nervous energy to good use. It does seem that when I'm on the cusp of an anxiety attack, certainly not in the midst of one, but in that state of subtle panic just before things get out of control, I do have an easier time accessing my creativity. If only there were a class I could take that would teach me the skills to channel that energy. Actually I think there's called therapy.


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