Love

Day 68
Okay, so two months ago I started working out more than I have my entire life. I have been genuinely exercising and doing my best to eat right, taking my vitamins, and drinking plenty of water. I stepped on the scale the other night and realized that I had gained 7 pounds. I stepped on the scale last night and the number jumped up another 3 pounds for a total of 10 pounds. How is this possible? How is it that I have been working so hard, feeling better than I ever have, and my clothes even fit better, but I've gained 10 pounds? Needless to say I had an all-out meltdown last night. Trenton was completely dumbfounded. He couldn't understand how I could let a number determine my emotional well-being. Still, he handled it like a man should. Of all the things he could have said (like, "maybe it's all the late-night root beer floats, or Reese's you don't think I know about.") He just held me as I cried and insisted it was muscle gain (10 pounds of muscle gain is highly unlikely but I thank him for trying) and listened as I spouted all kinds of shallow insecurities. I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up this morning I was greeted with this:

"I know you're having some trouble dealing with the fluctuations of your body. I just want you to know that I have never been so attracted to you as I am now. I love you more and more with every breath I take.

I love you,
Trenton"

Here's the thing-Trenton and I have had our fair share of arguments throughout our 5 years of marriage. My temper gets so hot sometimes that I feel totally out of control, and Trenton is the worst offender. But today I learned that Trenton has been learning. 5 years ago, his reaction to my little problem might have gone a little more like this:
"If you're so upset about it then quit eating crap and go to the gym." But I thought about it today and our arguments have lessened significantly in the last couple years. Today it occurred to me that Trenton has been paying attention. I learned today that men can and do learn from their mistakes! I do believe he meant what he said though... that he's not just trying to appease me. Tonight when I stood up to walk upstairs I saw Trenton's reflection in our TV. He turned his head and followed my every step. My husband was checking me out! Trenton always makes it a point to be sure I know he's attracted to me, but there is something so fabulous about catching someone checking you out when they don't know you're aware of it. It's the ultimate compliment because they weren't trying to flatter you. Be still my beating heart!


Janet