Day 106
I wasn't at all prepared for the feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, guilt, and fear that come along with being a mother. Nobody really sits you down and warns you about these feelings before you agree to take on the responsibilities. And then, there is this really stupid need we all seem to have to act like everything is freaking fantastic all the time. And even though I understand that nobody is perfect, I tend to assume others' laundry doesn't pile up, and that their children get the perfect balance of nutrition, sunlight, attention, and exercise every day. I go to bed almost every night with this big lump of guilt in my throat for all the things I didn't accomplish that day. I don't always feel like this, and maybe I won't tomorrow...but right now I feel like such a crappy mom.
Janet
We've all been there, and I think people that say they don't have those moments are in denial. My two most recent (very slacker) blog posts were about how I couldn't even keep up with basic chores-laundry, dishes, & paperwork. I feel guilty when I get way behind b/c I wonder what I do all day. I've finally gotten into a routine and while I still can't keep track of papers and don't file stuff, I figure 2/3 is good.
ReplyDeleteSomething I've found helps me feel better is that I do a "to do" list, and while it's great to check things off, sometimes we spend hours, or days, doing things that weren't on that list. Fix-just add them! If you didn't get the dishes washed, but you did vacuum, write it down. If you had cereal for dinner b/c you were playing w/ E, write that down. Playtime (for Mommy and/or the kids) is just as important, or more so, as sweeping.
Let me know if you want me to help you get caught up on anything. That's always my struggle-once I'm behind, I feel like I can never catch up, so I just give in. When you're no longer drowning in laundry, it's much easier to just 1 or 2 loads, instead of the 8 that are piled up. Good luck!