Today I learned the power of optimism. Even just a little optimism can change the whole course of your day, or month- or life, if you let it.
After meeting with a doctor that really seemed interested in helping me today, I finally allowed myself to dream again. I know this is sounding corny- but stay with me. For so long I have been in this horrible fog. This dark tunnel with very little hope of an exit and I actually let go of all the things that make me happy. I stopped looking forward to the future. I gave up on goals that, at one point, were very realistic to me. I don't even know how to describe the depressing places my mind was going- so I won't. Instead I will tell you that the little glimpse of hope and optimism this doctor gave me opened me up again to a whole world of interests, goals, and dreams I had given up on a long time ago. So my point to all this is that if you are sad, or worried, overwhelmed, feeling lost, anxious, or anything else that falls in this category- there really is something to be said for looking on the bright side. And I'm coming to learn that every situation has a bright side. My mistake was waiting for the doctor to give me that hope when I should have taken all the steps necessary to obtain and maintain it myself. I truly believe that positivity can heal you, or at least keep you from jumping off a bridge while you're working on healing yourself.
I also have to apologize. I am so embarrassed by how negative I've been. This isn't who I am. I'm not a complainer. And I promise I won't complain about my health again on this blog.